Most 21-year-old university students are spreading their wings: moving into share houses, going to parties, planning their futures.
But when nursing graduate Teun Toebes was 21 and pursuing further studies, he made the deliberate decision to curtail his own freedom, moving into what the Dutch describe as a ‘closed dementia ward’ to find out exactly what life is like behind the locked doors.
And that’s where he stayed for over three and a half years.
‘I had very dark image of dementia, the stigmatised view that many people in our society have,’ said Teun, now 26.
‘But I entered the closed ward and it felt like I entered a surreal no man’s land with, on the one hand, lovely people with whom I really became friends but, on the other hand, people who were only living there because of their dementia.
'So it was a very unnatural way to live – a target group of sick people all in one home, yet we act like it's normal life.’
To document his experience, he connected with filmmaker Jonathan de Jong, and they embarked on a long journey of, in Jonathan’s words, ‘hope and warmth’, gaining unprecedented access to the day-to-day lives of the people who became Teun’s dear friends.
‘We wanted to bring a more nuanced view of dementia to the world stage,’ Teun said, ‘because when I was talking with my housemates, the dominant narrative of loss was often not a prominent one – I never spoke with my housemates about what they couldn't do.
‘My housemate Ad, for instance, was a lovely man and we became friends, but he never remembered my name. That was not a problem because he remembered our feeling, and I felt the connection was based on an equal role. It was not caregiver versus resident but genuine housemates. Because of this equality, it was possible to build friendships with reciprocity, and that was so beautiful to experience.’
It was not caregiver versus resident but genuine housemates. Because of this equality, it was possible to build friendships with reciprocity...
Teun and Jonathan wrote their international bestseller (now published in 14 countries), The Housemates, in which Teun described life in the dementia facility, the people he met there, and the wide gulf he encountered between what people living with dementia need and what they, in fact, receive.
‘Our nursing home system in the Netherlands is a system of over €18 billion – on average, we give the most euros per person each year to someone living with dementia,’ he said.
‘But even though we spend so much money, we can't seem to buy happiness with it. So if money is not the answer, or if money is not the only answer, what is needed most?’
From that bedroom in a nursing home in the Netherlands, to a village in South Africa, a government office in Seoul and a rundown Moldovan psychiatric home, Teun and Jonathan took to the road across four continents to find out.
The resulting film, Human Forever (now also a book), has changed government policy in the Netherlands and elsewhere, and touched the hearts of thousands around the world.
Human Forever has changed government policy in the Netherlands and elsewhere, and touched the hearts of thousands around the world.
It premiered at the G20 Summit in October 2023 and has gone on to become the most watched documentary ever in Dutch cinema, winning the country’s biggest film prize, the Golden Calf. It’s now been shown in over 30countries.
‘Two and a half years later we're still travelling the world for premieres, but also to advise governments all around the world about how they can make a more inclusive society for people living with dementia,’ said Jonathan.
‘It’s really making an impact.’
The people they spoke to lived in all sorts of contexts, from state-of-the-art Danish facilities to village huts, but had one thing in common– the desire to feel valued for who they are.
‘What we learned is that people don't mind if they have a flat screen television or not,’ Jonathan said. ‘What they want is warmth and attention and to be seen. They want to have a sense of belonging.
‘What we learned is that people don't mind if they have a flat screen television or not...What they want is warmth and attention and to be seen.
‘Those kinds of values make the difference between living and wanting to die. Because a lot of people told us they would prefer to die because they are not seen as a human being anymore, only for their disease.’
Anyone around the world, of whatever age, can relate to that, which is perhaps why the film has resonated with audiences everywhere.
Jonathan agrees, saying, ‘It speaks to so many hearts around the world because that’s what everyone wants – to stay human forever.’
You can catch Teun Toebes and Jonathan de Jong on the plenary stage at #IDC2026, 4-5 June 2026 at the Hilton, Sydney. Human Forever will screen on the evening of 4 June, exclusively for IDC delegates. Don’t miss out – Early Bird registrations are open now.